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I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
Revelation 21,6-7

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The path to God´s closeness

Pavla Genzerová

I want to encourage all of You who´d like to enter into the close relationship with God but you simply don´t know how.Actually, it was also my problem… The path to God´s closeness
I´d like to write more details about my path towards God and to supplement the testimony about my conversion.

I want to encourage all of You who´d like to enter into the close relationship with God but you simply don´t know how.Actually, it was also my problem.

 

I was brought up in faith and grew up among the believing relatives and friends whose opinions I shared and we hit it off together.I was living a quiet life until I was eighteen ( except for my difficulties concerning the school attendance of the religious education at the basic school and then entrance exams at the secondary school ).Problems arose only when I started my first job where my atheist colleagues soon found out that I was „a bit different“.It was still during the communist regime.Some of them didn´t mind my faith, others couldn´t stand it at all.Especially one of my colleagues was trying to disprove my faith all the time.It was very hard.At that time I didn´t have the personal experience with God and didn´t have anything to base on.I didn´t have the necessary knowledge either and so I began studying various religious books and the Bible as well so as to be able to reason a little bit.

However, all this wasn´t enough.I didn´t build „my house““on the rock“and so I began loosing the ground under my feet.I started to doubt – not about God´s existence – but about the teaching of the Catholic Church.That bloke believed that God exists but he didn´t believe that He is love.He refused this.Perhaps since he didn´t encounter with God´s love and didn´t experience it.Unfortunately, nor did I.I needed to encounter with God very badly but didn´t know how I could come near to Him.I came across believing people, congregations, priests and we discussed various issues.I wanted to know that it wasn´t only me who was of this opinion and that all I was told in the church had been right.I ran to the church to pray God and at the same time I was afraid of losing my faith.I could feel that someone wanted to steal something precious from me and I didn´t want to allow that.I was struggling a lot.That bloke influenced me a lot and he felt very strongly about convincing me that I wasn´t on the right track and that I was very guileless when I believed the Catholic priests.Fortunately, two years later he handed his notice and I stopped seeing him.

God might save me.In the matter of time I found out that it was the blessed time for me ( although I was worrying a lot ).I grew out of so-called childish faith and decided on God.But at that time God wasn´t in the first place of my life in spite of the fact that He gave me peace in my heart.Then I met people who´d gone through The Renewal in the Holy Spirit.I remember a boy who once asked me if I didn´t want to surrender my life over to Jesus Christ.He said he´d pray with me.I didn´t understand him at all.I´d been a believer since my childhood and had been fine after all.I didn´t need any prayers!!Long ten years had to pass for me to understand what he´d wanted to tell me at that time.

The Renewal attracted me for the whole time but the believers ( since their childhood as well ) dissuaded me from going there.I was afraid of surrendering my life to Jesus.I thought then my life´d have been much harder.That I´d have had to pray more, to go to church more often, to serve more to people and God knows what.When I met my husband I didn´t need God so badly.There were plenty of things around me that´d attracted me more than God himself.God still existed in my life, I was still attending church and praying but God stood „a bit aside“- aside from my ordinary humdrum life.I managed it by myself.I got married, we had two children and suddenly there were plenty of worries.I had to go through various difficulties,disillusionment,loneliness so that I might long to meet God again.I simply discovered that you wouldn´t find the real happiness in this world and you couldn´t just manage it all by yourself.

However,I wasn´t still finding the „precious pearl“ for which I´d have been willing „to sell everything.“

 

In 1998 I got to Kroměříž to take part in the father Alvaro´s Mass.For the first time I heard the testimony about the course Filip and it made a great impact on me.I needed to know that God had been working in the life of people somehow and that it wasn´t a mere theory.But I had a small baby at home so I could arrive at the spiritual retreat only in two years.I went to the course finally longing to meet God´s love.The life which I was living dulled me because there wasn´t much love and joy in it.I was like arid well that yearned for being filled with water.At the course I asked Jesus into my heart for the first time that I wanted to give Him my life and strike up with Him a close friendship.And the Lord heard my prayers.I experienced a lovely peace and joy in my heart.It was amazing and I was longing only for God´s presence.I haven´t lost anything by my surrending to God but it was exactly the opposite, I´ve gained a lot.

Many years later I

 finally found „the source of live water“.More than two years have passed and despite all the crises I went through during that time, the nice close friendship with Jesus lasted.After the course I started going to the congregation.It was the one that I´d turned down because I had two small children and couldn´t go to pray somewhere every fortnight.This congregation helps me a lot to go along this path with the Lord.As it holds true:“Who stands, be careful not to fall!“

 

I extend my great thanks to God and to the Congregation for Jesus in Kroměříž that helped me to experience that GOD IS A REAL LOVE.After being renewed the great load fell off my mind because finally I could stop hunting for where that God actually is and I didn´t need to look for Him in books or ask priests about Him.And I didn´t have to be afraid anymore of being convinced by someone that I wasn´t on the right track.God was deeply present in my heart.And I could say together with the saint August:“Our heart is restless until it remains in You, God.“

I wish all of You however dissatisfied you are to draw this conclusion and experience that GOD IS LOVE.

God can also make you experience these things, for instance at the Course Filip.
May the God accompany You..
 

Pavla Genzerová, Zlín

 

 

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